SHART part 1

i kinda delayed this entry.  and it's a pretty important event..maybe i delayed it coz i was too busy, ididnt think much of it, or i was too embarrassed..either way..my moms wanted me to post an entry regarding this situation...so here goes.

before i begin the entry, i would like to introduce a term that is not widely known here in the philippines..it is the term, "SHART". it is a mix of "fart and shit". it is the action of shit coming out of your butt when u fart...so with that being said, let's begin.

so im out on clinicals and i finish up assisting in the OR (not much assisting, just handed the surgeon his instruments) and i feel this like gassy/bubbly feeling in my stomach...i dont really think much of it..so i just fart and stuff like i usually do..and it relieves a little bit of the gas..so i exit the OR and walk out to meet my other classmates..and i start talkin to em while farting silently to relieve the gas..after a few minutes of pointless banter, i take my seat, play "unblock me" on my phone for a few minutes, when SUDDENLY i feel another bubbly in my stomach..being stupid and all, i thought it was regular bubbly feeling, so i stand up to make it look incognito and  i let one out............................THEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS.

i feel like a little air pocket got stuck in between my cheeks after i let it out..so i adjust my butt cheeks accordingly..then i start to feel this jelly-like feeling in alternating between my left and right butt-cheek..so im like.."  OH SHIT!!!"  so im like panicking now..but not showing it..and my classmates ask me, "dude, miguel..are you ok?" im like.."yeah, im good..i just had a good fart..that's all"  and then they say "did u just poop your pants?" and im thinking, maybe it was just water (stupid hoping..water??? cmon miguel!) so im like "no..are you kidding me? of course i didnt." so yeah.  i really needed to check.so .i walk around a corner..and DISGUSTING STUFF WILL NOW BE REVEALED, SO IF U WISH NOT TO CONTINUE, SKIP THE SEGMENT AFTER THIS WARNING AND CONTINUE AFTER THE NUMBER 7

so i stick my finger into my pants..and i start feeling around for a some poop..and lo and behold, my finger hits the jackpot..i feel a gel-like consistency on the bottom portion of my boxer briefs..so i take my finger out and look at it..there's no green smear like i expected..so i take a whiff of it..and it just smells like nothing..so im like. "hmm..maybe it IS just water.." but when i walk it feels like i have flubber in my boxers dancing around in between my ass-crack...so i tell my gf..that im gonna to the bathroom..and she decides to tag along..and by now..im walking like i just dropped the soap in alcatraz...so she asks me "miguel, are you sure, u didnt poop yourself? and with a smile, i say "no..i didnt."


7

so after walking around like i just got raped in the butt, i finally get to the bathroom..i slowly pull down my pants while saying "this cant be happening.."..and then i move on to pulling down the boxers..then!

then part 2 of the shart story shall continue another day..tune in.