i hate breaking up with ppl.
it sucks..and it's the hardest thing to do. im not trying to say im some kind of stud, but ive done my share of breaking up with ppl and it's never pleasant, even if u do have a rebound..and no..i do not have a rebound in case youre wondering.
throughout the years, ive grown..mentally that is..ive become more empathetic towards ppl. and its a double edged sword..it's made me kind, but at the same time, i become too nice. and empathy doesnt work too well when ur trying to end something.
like, when i tried ending a relationship with someone, i always feel bad, coz ive been on the receiving end before..and it sucks balls..so ill end up giving it another try..NOT because i want to, but because if u were them i would want another chance..so it's more out of pity..and that is just no good..it becomes a vicious cycle..the relationship is there, but not really..it's like teetering between being friends and being lovers..basically limbo..
and it is not a good feeling..and when u see the person going through the different stages of a break up..it just hurts even more..and u just wanna stop the break up and get back with that person so you wont feel like a terrible person.
that's another thing..u just end up feeling like an asshole. u just feel like u did the most terrible thing a human being could ever do...combine that feeling with him/her crying in front of you, u just feel..well..like a dick head..and this leads to you trying to get back with her to get rid of the asshole-ish feeling u have about yourself.
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but like the wise poop-depositor of home depot once said..
it's normal to feel that way. and it's normal for that person to cry..what? you expect them not to cry? you just broke their heart! of course theyre gonna cry..and if u think getting back with em is gonna fix it..it's just gonna make it worse..coz ur not 100% in the relationship..ppl will cry and you will feel terrible..it's normal.
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and that's that.
chapter 5 is done.
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