toyota

im writing this before i study. im listening to win right now by brian mcknight. i suggest you listen to it..very good song..

i dk what im gonna blog about..i just know that it helps distract me from thinking about stuff i shouldnt be thinking about. i have a prelim tomorrow..one that i was supposed to take in dec, but i went back to my roots..

gaaah..i dk what to write about..ill just stop thinking about what to write and let my hands move where they please.

**reader discretion advised**

i cant stop rewinding the scenes in my mind...just the stares we threw at each other..the eye contact made..the tension between each glance..it was there..i know you could feel it..the time we kissed..and believe me, i didnt do that intentionally..it was like, you know when youre just pushed? like..there was an invisible hand behind my head..and it just pushed my head towards yours..and our lips connected..i cant stop rewinding the scene where i just putting your hair behind your ears, while you just stared at me..it was heaven for those 4 hours we spent with each other...4 hours i will never understand nor try to.

now it's back to the struggle..doesnt love make ppl wanna do crazy things? i mean..it made me put myself out there for her..but she didnt do the same...and by no means am i saying she should..but i thought a little effort would be cool to see..ohhh..wait..im not bitter if any of you guys are wondering..im 22 now..im too fckn old to get mad at love..[age is relative, haters]..i guess im just reaaaalllly heart broken..but at the same time, i cant get mad at myself for trying.

maybe i deserved what i got? karma? only God knows why.

but whatever..the world doesnt stop for anyone, so i just gotta keep moving.

what im trying to figure out is why things changed so quick..for about 3 days..we were all googley-eyed over each other, [at least i think we were..haha], then BOOM! it's like those 3 days never existed..ill never get an explanation for it..and im done trying to find one..

like tupac said..sometimes you gotta just stop tryin analyze every piece and just move on.

So, the process has begun.